


She Blinded Me (With Lots and Lots of Laserfire)

by Mansion



Category: The Thrilling Adventure Hour
Genre: Gen, Mad Science, mini-episode, shootin' stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-15
Updated: 2014-04-15
Packaged: 2018-01-19 10:51:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1466761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mansion/pseuds/Mansion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“After fightin’ all manner of gangs and giant robits and all sorts’a aliens and whatnot, think I’m pretty safe in sayin’ that there ain’t nothin’ I hate more than fightin’ against mad science."</p>
            </blockquote>





	She Blinded Me (With Lots and Lots of Laserfire)

**Author's Note:**

> Fair warning: the science in this is probably dumb.

“After fightin’ all manner of gangs and giant robits and all sorts’a aliens and whatnot, think I’m pretty safe in sayin’ that there ain’t nothin’ I hate more than fightin’ against mad science,” Red growled, twisting the ropes in her hand twice around her palm and digging in her heels. Her limbs were leaden, her local gravity dialed way up to give her an anchoring weight--an old hypercattle wrangling trick--but the monstrosity at the end of the ropes was no hypercow and it sure wasn’t going down easy.

“No argument here,” Sparks volleyed back, lassoing another loop around a snapping mouth. “How many alligators can a thing even be made of?”

“‘S crocodiles,” she hissed sarcastically. “‘Member how we had to sit through a dang twenty minute lecture about it?”

“Reckon taxonomic subtleties don’t make much of a difference when it comes to gettin’ bit by one of ‘em. I’m outta rope.”

“Five heads still loose. Say this qualifies as the end of possible in ‘alive if possible,’ so… I’m turning the gravitron off. Heads up!” She flicked her hand over the device tucked into her belt and sudden lightness flooded her. Fighting nausea, she tossed the ropes aside and ripped her laser rifle off her back. A dozen shots later, and the thing slumped to the sand.

Red breathed out.

“Nice shooting, Red,” Sparks called out, relinquishing his own ropes and turning off the other gravitron.

“Hmm. Weren’t nothin’.” But she blew on the barrel of her rifle before replacing it.

One of the heads, shot clean through with laserfire and staining the red dirt redder, rolled and flexed its jaw.

“Woah, that cowpoke’s still kicking!” Sparks’ hand went to his holster, but the thing only wriggled pathetically.

“It’s, y’know, reptilian. They do that. Keep twitchin’ after they’re dead for a little bit. Prolly won’t be a problem. It ain’t gettin’ any deader.”

“Think it’s cumulative? Like it’ll take twelve times as long to stop moving?”

“That sounds dumb.”

“Look, it’s mad science, Red. Maybe that’s why the Doc even thought to put twelve of ‘em together.”

Red shook her head, which kind of felt like a mistake as she did it, and when she took a step, the plain seemed to move under her. She didn’t fall, but it did seem dicey there for a moment, so she unceremoniously sat down on the ground and waited for her head to calm down.

“Hey, ya okay?” Sparks walked over without much trouble and knelt beside her.

“‘S the extra Gs. Makes me dizzy, kinda. Just gimme a minute.”

“Aww…”

“No. Don’t. Do not even, Nevada.” She glared at him. “Y’all seem fine.”

“Well, y’know. I’m pretty much a champion at rollercoasters, so…”

“That ain’t a thing ya can be a champion at.”

“Says you. The person who’s dizzy.”

She rolled her eyes. “The amount of ways I could shoot you ain’t even funny, Nevada.”

“Yeah, but I’m kinda bettin’ you won’t.”

Without even looking, she punched him in the arm. Hard.

He inhaled sharply through gritted teeth. “C’mon, really?”

“Hey, least you were right. I didn’t shoot ya.” She smirked and tucked an escaping strand of hair behind her ear. She already felt better, her head cleared out, the nausea reduced to a phantom sensation. She wasn’t gonna contribute all of that to punching Sparks, but it didn’t hurt.

“Well, reckon the job’s only half done and we still gotta haul a dead lizard knot halfway back to town,” she sighed.

“Yeah. I’m super not excited about that part. Still. Can’t leave it here. Littering laws and whatnot.”

Red put a hand on his shoulder for leverage and climbed to her feet, then held out a hand in return. He grabbed it and joined her.

“Well,” he said, brushing the dust off his knees before bouncing back straight again. “We’re burning daylight, so c’mon, temporary deputy, let’s get this done with.”

“I ain’t yer deputy,” she grumbled, following. “Temporary, provisional or otherwise.”

“Ah, come on, whatever.”

“Whatever yourself.”

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this back in January, while in the depths of SAD and irrationally convinced that no one would want to read anything I'd written. Which is dumb. But writing and publishing that fic the other day reminded me that I actually like publishing stuff.
> 
> Man oh man, I would listen to SO MANY episodes of Sparks and Red buddy-copping around Mars.


End file.
